Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Great News Day!

Teacher dispatches raccoon with nail gun
Tue Nov 13, 11:22 PM ET

Huntsville, AR - A high school teacher killed a raccoon with a nail gun after discovering the planned subject of a skinning demonstration was alive. (O.K., wait. This didn’t take place in Shop class? What was this? Critter Skinnin’ 101?)

Superintendent Alvin Lievsay said a student's parent promised to bring in a raccoon for the exercise (Shooot…all I ever brought in were cupcakes), but surprised teacher Jerick Hutchinson by bringing the animal in a live trap (‘cause they had enough in the other traps for dinner, I’m sure).

Lievsay said Hutchinson, "who used to work in a slaughter house," took the animal outside to the back of his truck Friday and shot it with the nail gun (This fool worked in a slaughter house and this was the only way he could come up with to kill this animal?).

Lievsay said no students witnessed the raccoon's death (because we don’t want you to see how you should kill an animal, just how to skin it ~ insert eye roll here.).

"He used the nail gun to, as they say, to dispatch the animal," Lievsay said. "It wasn't like he held a nail gun against the head of a cute little animal in front of the class." (I can just see the After School Special now…)

Hutchinson used the dead raccoon to demonstrate how to skin the animal and to examine the contents of its stomach (Oh, my bad. This demonstration isn’t Critter Skinnin’ 101 this is for The Forensic Files on Animal Planet).

Lievsay said only one student asked not to attend the skinning. (This was a requirement? I’ve dissected a frog in my time, but c’mon.)

Lievsay said officials at Huntsville High School later talked with Hutchinson and told him not to kill animals on school grounds (or the teenagers for that matter).

The superintendent said Hutchinson, one of two agriculture teachers at the school about 30 miles east of Fayetteville, also would provide more detailed lesson plans in the future (like which type of nail gun to use ~ Craftsman or Black & Decker).

"He does a great job. The kids love him," Lievsay said. (of course they do! He's batshit crazy!)

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