Handbasket? Party of One

I'm so going to hell. I know I shouldn't laugh at things like this...but dammit! It's funny...

VANCOUVER, Wash. - A woman is accused of shooting her husband four times with a 16-gauge double-barreled shotgun after learning of an affair. (Say it with me now…You Go Girl! [insert ‘Indiana Jones’ theme here]).

Eddie Martin, 51, survived the attack (lucky bastard), but may have to have a limb amputated (well, I can think of worse things ~ read: John Bobbit). Sheryl Martin, also 51, had to reload after the first two shots. (Girlfriend had time to reload. Damn. That’s just fucking fabulous!)

Martin made her first appearance on Monday in Clark County Superior Court (where I’m certain she looked just stunning). Martin was released on bail and will live with her parents (I’m sure her mama is so proud ~ wait…her parents are still alive!?). She will be formally charged September 21st (what type of gown does one wear to a ‘formal’ charge?).

Eddie Martin told his wife he was having an affair and wanted a divorce. (I guess he never heard the whole ‘hell hath no fury’ advice before. Bless his heart).

They argued and Eddie went to sleep in a camper (yeah, drop a bomb like that and stick around to see what happens. Not the brightest crayon in the box is he?).

Sheryl found a shotgun, loaded it and allegedly shot him while he was in bed. (is it wrong that I laughed at this?)

Sheryl Martin called 911 and told a dispatcher what she had done and was arrested on Saturday (see, now that’s just sweet. She called the Po Po to come save his dumb ass).

The pair have been married for 30 years. (Lawd, Jesus…[insert head shake here])