Monday, September 10, 2007

It Doesn't Take Much to Keep Me Happy

Most commercials annoy the hell out of me. They're just dumb. And if that wasn't bad enough, the rotation schedule is completely out of control!

"I'm thiiiinking of a number..." * barf *

The commericals for Kia are the worst. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. And not because I'm a scorned Kia owner either, rather because the commercials are idiotic at best and are on every commercial break on every channel. For fuck sake, the most recent one was on last night at the beginning of the commercial break AND and the end.

The most recent submission by Kia being the "Save the Greenbacks" commerical where several (read: 10) volunteers in "offical" looking red jackets are tirelessly braving the deep blue ocean to save these poor little "green backs" from....huh. Now that I THINK about it, I'm not sure what they're being saved from. Possibly the WaMu guys, possibly from being put down a strippers g-string. Maybe evein from a tanker running aground by it's sauced captain.

My favorite part of this fine piece of advertising is the volunteer that is using what looks like a couple of vibrators in place of a defibrillator. I wasn't aware that there was an electric current running through $1 bills. Or that they were into self-gratification. Maybe I should post that on Wikipedia...

I hate this commercial with the white hot passion of a thousand suns.

On the flip side, I do have a couple of favorites.

1. EPT. The commerical opens with what looks like Darth Vader's new cruiser. But, no! It's not a spaceship at all. It's a home pregnancy test! *squee* And then the announcer, with his velvet voice says, "It's the most advanced piece of technology you'll ever...(and here's my favorite part ~ from stage right...a stream of liquid)...pee on. Pure. Genius. Unfortunately, the commercial has changed. People were offended by the pee. And now Mr. Velvet Voice says, "The most advanced piece of technology you'll ever (throat clear) you know." It's pee people! The Pepto commercials talk about diarehhea for chrissakes!

2. The Travelocity Roaming Gnome. I love it when he denounces the european electric converter myth. I'm not sure, though, which is my favorite part. Him being electrocuted and shot across the room. Or, when he says, "Am I going to die?"

3. Restless Leg Syndrome drug. I don't even know the name of it. But Lawd Jesus do I love the side affects. "If you develop a gambling or sexual habit, stop using and see your medical professional." The fuck? So, let me get this not have the tingly feeling on my legs, I can take a drug that will make me develop a gambling habit and start fucking animals? Well, thank God it's nothing serious.

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