Friday, July 13, 2007

Summ-summ-summertime...

As the weather turned warmer and the days grew longer...

it still didn't feel like summer.

As the smell of charcoal and grilled meats filled the air...

it still didn't feel like summer.

As the sound of children laughing and splashing in the pool was heard throughout the day it still didn't feel like summer.

It didn't feel like summer until last night when those loud ass Palo Verde beetles came out and started their annoying buzzing. These things are huge. Seriously, they could rape a chicken.

I grew up in a house that had a bug zapper on the back patio. You know...one of those lantern looking things that attraced bugs with it's alluring blue glow only to turn them into fried little bug bits (I think this is a delicacy in some countries). Now, normally when a regular size bug hits the zapper, it's quick and over. Not so for the Palo Verde beetle. These things are at least two inches in length and I swear they put up a fight when they hit the zapper. There's smoke, an acrid smell and sometimes flames. And they take for-freaking-ever to get done cooking. Rachel Ray would hate these things because they take longer than 30 minutes (wink wink).

I've seen a bug zapping device that is shaped like a tennis racket, only without the strings. With one fell swoop of your Bug Racket you can take down a whole family of creepy crawlies. I'm not someone who should own one of these things. With my luck, I would swing and miss the bugs and the racket would go over my head and I'd end up looking like the Bride of Frankenstein. Not a good look for summer.

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