In addition to being witness to random act of oddity, my family and friends add to the wonky factor of my life. I'm not really sure if I belong on Jerry Springer or if I should write a bestseller. Seriously, I'm not creative enough to make this shit up.
For example, my daughter had spent her winter break with her dad. We had plans to meet on Sunday so I could take her home. My ex-husband called me on Sunday morning and said, "I need to ask you a huge favor. If I gave you gas money, could you come down and pick up the baby."
Now, at this point I'm thinking that maybe his mom (whose health is declining) is ill, his truck broke, he's gotta work...something normal.
Thinking that something normal could happen in my life was my first mistake.
"Well, Mary left Tonya a week ago and hasn't come home or called to check on her kid. And Tonya is freaking out. So, I'm kinda dealing with that.", he said.
Oh, for fuck sake.
"Okay, let me get this straight," I says, "My ex-husband wants me to come pick up my daughter because he's dealing with lesbian drama and can't meet me?"
"Yeah, if it wouldn't be too much trouble."
This is so yummy it should be fattening.
I picked up my daughter and learned that Mary did finally show up to pick up some clothes and her son.
I swear I've seent his exact scenario on a novella.
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